Unsaid  Secret  Denial  Truth
by Kisaragia
Summary: Two hearts, one resolution. Different hues of their eyes, same light in their eyes.
1. Curiosity

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All recognizable characters in this fanfic belongs to Takahashi Rumiko.

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Chapter summary: 

The lies we tell ourselves.

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Through her Meidou Seki seeing her son who is known for being cold and ruthless caressing the girl gently with an unusual softness in his eyes, she could not help but become curious. "Little demon, that little girl – what is she to Sesshomaru?" Jaken nervously replies, "How should I put it? Just that although I, Jaken has been in service for many years, compared to Rin, she has _always_ received better treatment…" 

She did not get much of an answer from the little demon, but she rolls her eyes in disinterest anyway, "whatever she is to Sesshomaru, she will be dead soon" – hence no point in pursuing. Indeed, the little girl stopped breathing soon after. "So, Sesshomaru… what now?", she muses to herself. The tension is simply too much for Jaken, unable to contain himself, he could not help but ask, "Er, so Rin is…?" "Dead of course, there's nothing to be done is there?"

But no, the little human girl did not die – in fact she is the one who saved her. "All _this_ commotion over _one_ mere little human girl… he has come to resemble his father in the strangest way." She has not expected this to be honest. She is not sure yet how she should take this queer development in her son. The thought of her son to actually care about the life and death of a human is so ridiculous in her opinion that it has never even crossed her mind. Her son had disregarded her offer of a way out from hell earlier in order to go after the girl. _He could have not been able to return from there, yet he chose to go after her? Even though she was dead?_ The thought makes her uneasy. What was worse, he discarded Tenseiga because of her. A warrior never relinquishes his weapon for anything, not to mention the sword was his father's legacy, _and yet he had forsaken it because of her…?_

_It is not love_. She says to herself. She soon finds herself pondering from time to time on what the human girl was to Sesshomaru and why does he care so much.


	2. Pursue

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Chapter summary: 

In search for a reason.

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She is seated comfortably high up on the platform so that she could "look down" on anyone before her. Her eyes rest on the human girl, trying to figure out what is so special about her. "So, little girl – tell me, are you afraid?" The girl looks at her wide-eyed in incomprehension. "Afraid of what?" "Rin, this is Gobodou (honorable mother)-sama that you are talking to! She's not Kohaku or some other lowly beings that you are used to mingling around with, show some respect with your words!" As much as Jaken loathes being left behind by his master with the foolish girl, he has to do what has to be done – keep the girl out of trouble (or else who knows how is his master going to punish him). 

"Little demon, be quiet. The little girl can talk in anyway she pleases. She is after all just human, my standards are not the same for everyone. So tell me little girl, are you afraid to come here and live among demons? You must know that we are not just _some_ demons but we are _powerful_ demons, and sometimes some of us even feed on humans!" The girl gasps in horror. She lets out a false laugh. "Don't worry little girl, Sesshomaru has entrusted you with me, so you can have my word that no part of you will be missing while you are under my care."

The girl looks at the ground as if contemplating if she should ask what is on her mind. "You have something to ask me little girl?" "Gobodou-sama, when will Sesshomaru-sama be coming back?" She looks at the little human girl with intrigued interest. There is something uncannily affectionate about the way her son's name comes out of her mouth, just like the lingering way she looks the back of her son leaving, even long after he was out of sight.

"Already asking for Sesshomaru when he hasn't even left for half a day? Enlighten me little girl, what is your business with my son?" "I have no business with Sesshomaru-sama." "Huh?" Raising her eyebrows displaying her displeasure, she prompts, "Explain yourself little girl." The girl's expressive face takes on a bewildered note. "I follow Sesshomaru-sama. He saves me from wolves and demons, and I… sometimes pick flowers for him." A frown marred her timeless features. She did not ask the question for such a bizarre answer.

Jaken cuts in, "Gobodou-sama, please pardon this stupid girl's unschooled mouth. Sesshomaru-sama has taken in this pathetic human purely because this foolish human had tried to help Sesshomaru-sama when he was badly wounded by Tessaiga. This silly girl has to tag along and weigh down Sesshomaru-sama's footsteps has got to do with the fact that she no longer has anyone she could depend on among her own kind, and Sesshomaru-sama's heart of gold prevents him from leaving a helpless human girl alone to fend for herself. Such magnanimous compassion that Sesshomaru-sama possesses he has inevitably acquired it from you Gobodou-sama."

She looks at the little demon in disinterest and disbelief – while it might have been easier for her to believe that her son has taken in the human girl as an act of gratitude or even kindness, she knows better that it is something else, whatever it may be.

_It is not love_. She murmurs to herself under her breath.


	3. Disbelief

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Chapter summary: 

_It is not love_. She closes her eyes and whispers under her breath.

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"Little demon, I have asked for Rin-chan. I don't see you bringing her." Sweat rolls down Jaken's forehead continuously as he desperately searches for the right words. It has been many years since his master's mother has taken Rin in under her care, the "little girl" that she was from many years ago is no longer around as she is replaced by a 'little woman'. Being left behind here on several occasions, Jaken knows that this great demon is like his master – she has the habit of punishing him when the job is not done. 

"Go… Gobodou-sama, Ri… Rin is… is…" Nothing seems to sound like the right words. "Ah… Rin is taking a bath in the hot spring, she said that she will come immediately after she is done with bathing!" Seeing the little demon trembling and sweating profusely, how is she to trust a word that he had just said? "Little demon, don't make me come down from here to teach you a lesson. Speak the truth – why is Rin-chan not here with you?"

Jaken's already tensed face takes on an even tenser note, but this time with a somewhat tinge of somberness. "Rin… Rin is still in her room… sleeping." His voice trails off, as if he does not know how to carry on. He lowers his head and stares blankly at the ground. "Oh? Sleeping? And you just let her sleep on while you keep me waiting?" Jaken twitches in alarm. "Eh… Go… Gobodou-sama, that is not the meaning of this Jaken. Eh… Rin is… Rin is…" He feels as if the words are choked up in his throat and would not come out. He coughs a few times and gathers all that he has. "Rin is sleeping and Sesshomaru-sama is also sleeping – in her room. Sesshomaru-sama had asked me to leave, so I had to leave without her…" He is still trying to recover from his shock of seeing (and hearing) what he saw (and heard).

She closes her eyes in immense displeasure – this is what she is afraid of hearing and did not want to hear. To pick out from the leftover materials to make some new kimonos has been an excuse. She has smelled something in the air last night that did not please her and summoning for the human girl early the next morning has been her way to check if her senses has been playing tricks on her.

_It is not love_. It is lust. Purely lust and curiosity. It will soon pass, she tells herself.


	4. Acknowledgement

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Chapter summary: 

Things we don't talk about. Promises we don't make.

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_Blazing heat of the day – seductive cool of the night_

_Tedious undressing of his armor – silk of her kimono_

"Rin-chan, do you have something to tell me?"

The girl looks at the floor. "Gobodou-sama, you are

the one who have summoned for me to come,

why do you ask me instead..."

_Her inviting scent – rare tenderness of his face_

_Rough calloused fingers – soft kissable cheeks_

_Intensity of his regard – pink of her cheeks_

_Blazing flame in his gaze – fire in her body_

_It is not love_.

She tells herself this when she catches the scent of her son around the premise again

Like always he has come back not to see her but to see his human.

_Kisses_

_Warm and lingering _

_Stiff and somewhat awkward_

_Short, long, long, short – long, long, long_

"Rin-chan, don't take me as a fool."

She looks away. "I know you are with Sesshomaru's child."

_Fierce whispers of protest, quiet surrender of the hearts_

_Enduring determination in her, dissolving convictions in him_

_Heightened emotions in the air, muffled confessions lost in them_

_It is not love_.

She has not seen it herself, but she has overheard rumors of her son and the human

girl being seen together on many occasions outside the boundaries of her sight.

_Passion_

_Unknown sensations, loss of restrain_

_Relinquish of expectations, releasing of sealed desires – walls breaking apart_

_Engulfed by a raving need lurking beneath all along_

_Natural fitting of their forms_

_Entwining strands of silver and brown_

_Forbidden lust. Belonging intimacy._

_Pain, break, bleed, flight, high, rapture – together on their way to heaven…_

"Were you not planning to tell me?" The girl trembles.

"Gobodou-sama, how… how did you find out? I haven't told anyone…"

She sneers at the aversion of the girl's apparent imperceptive innocence.

"Anyone around here can tell that your scent has changed, even that little demon."

_Aftermath_

_Collapse into his arms, face buried in her hair_

_Panting. Gasping for air. Gathering themselves._

_Seal broken. Boundary crossed._

_Sigh, sigh, sigh._

_Sigh of contentment. Sigh of commitment._

_It is not love_.

She says to herself when the human girl smells more of her son than herself.

_Beckoning warmth of her body – comfort of his mokomoko fur_

_Soothing of his pain and hurt with her lips – easing of her wounds and fears with his_

Rin drops to her knees.

"Please accept my apologies Gobodou-sama.

I didn't mean for you to misunderstand.

I just didn't know how to break the news to you.

We have always been extremely careful,

I don't know how could this happen."

Tears of frustration roll down her cheeks.

_Indulgence in her sweetness_

_Love bite marks on her bosom_

_Familiar feel of the mole on her palm_

_It is not love_.

She says beneath her breath time and again when she advised her son

from the bottom of her heart for his well being to rid himself of his human

– only to be met with a disdain refusal and a subsequent defiant display

of his affections in front of her.

_Gentle touch of his Prussian blue crescent_

_Fingertips tracing his demonic markings_

_Playful nibble of his strange ears_

"Get up girl. Wipe your tears." She sighs.

"The child you are carrying carries our bloodline, I guess

the only path in front of you is to be married to Sesshomaru."

_Bathing in her lavish affections – lulled to sleep in enclosed protectiveness of his arms_

_It is not love_.

She knows that Sesshomaru has manipulated her need to please him

into harboring this human for him these years while he bides for the

right time to take her back.

Now a devastating battle had just taken place, casualties have been high.

There are not many great demons standing powerful enough to challenge him.

He is well on his way of consolidating his power and his empire.

She should have been proud of her son, yet something in her feels awfully sore.

She knows he had planned for this to happen _now_.

_Bright and light of the sun_

_Birds chirping happily_

_Dreamy recall of the saccharine taste of her in his mouth_

_(addictive inscription of her scent over and over at the back of his head)_

"Gobodou-sama, I do not wish to be married to Sesshomaru-sama."

She examines this strange human closely.

"I know that Sesshomaru-sama is often ridiculed

because of me. I don't wish to add on to his burden."

She sighs again.

_World is perfect_

_Clouds all in the shape of the heart_

_Embarrassed flush (blushing and grinning)_

_at the wicked thoughts of his possessive demands crossing her mind_

_It is not love_.

She knows that Sesshomaru had expected her to do this:

for her to seek out the pregnant girl (the human girl is her responsibility while under her care)

on her own accord, for her to be the one to bring up the ridiculous marriage proposal

one unheard of before between a great demon and a lowly human,

and for her to be the one (fool) to back this marriage that no other demon ever will.

_The unsaid – things we don't talk about_

She shakes her head.

"I would tolerate no nonsense of this sort. Our family

is terribly well respected in the demon world. Perhaps for

Sesshomaru to marry a human girl is a disgrace, for you

to bear a bastard child that carries our bloodline is even worse!"

_He stands tall and strong against her – her head slightly lowered in willing submission_

_His steps brisk and proud – hers calm and just half a step behind_

_His hand free and stretched in the air – a smile on her face – slipping hers through gently_

_It is not love_. It is folly.

She could never understand how could her son be

smitten with something this low, this ordinary and this weak.

_It_ is not even half the beauty that she is.

_But _she has never had anyone who had cherished her this way,

and she does not know anyone who has been cherished like this.

It was rumored that her deceased husband had loved his human woman

(_that one_ was at least a noblewoman, a princess; _this one_ is a nobody),

but he had neither desired to keep her by his side,

nor did he make sacrifice of this sort for her.

"He has come to resemble his father in the strangest way,"

she once thought to herself.

But no, he has become something else. 

_The unsaid – promises we don't make_

She forces herself to look at the girl in her eye as she

proceeds to lecture the ignorant human girl in solemnity,

"I am going to give you this Meidou Seki. From the moment

you wear our family heirloom, you are part of this family,

human or not and whether you like it or not. You have to

realize that by marrying Sesshomaru, you will become a very

important figure in the demon world as Sesshomaru's wife.

You have to quit your willful ways and start acting

properly like a lady with caliber."

_Matching embroidered pouches with a lock of hair_

_silver in hers dark brown in his –_

_Close to their hearts_

_It is not love._

She wished that she could genuinely believe herself.

_Two hearts – demon heart, human heart – one resolution_

She bites her lips as she removes the only memento in

her possession from her husband and puts it over the

human girl's head on her neck.

For some reason, some part of her secretly envies this

weak and vulnerable plain human girl.

_Different hues of their eyes – amber eyes and dark brown eyes – same light in their eyes_


End file.
